Spider vs penis and other news
/Since I was hanging out with a few thousand of entomologists (and a handful of arachnologists) all last week, I'll again provide a bit of spider news roundup. One story in particular got a lot of attention, so I'll see if there's any sense to be made there.
“Spider” causes another car crash
I highlighted a similar story last week, though this one seems more suspect. In the previous Australian report, the spider is (roughly) identified, and the story is plausible because those spiders frequently get into tight places, including inside vehicles. With this story, no spider was even seen, though the driver claimed one was in the car. The story does not mention whether a cell phone was present in the car, nor whether police checked the activity log on the phone.
I'd bet some quantifiable amount of Real American Dollars that this incident was caused by distracted driving unrelated to spiders. Am I being overly skeptical? Perhaps. But our society is in a strange place where spiders are constantly demonized without question. Wake up with a red spot on your skin? Spiders. Can't remember where you put your car keys? Spiders. Lose your job? Spiders. Continually renew your expensive gym membership in the hopes that the cost will finally motivate you to get in shape even though you know you'll never do more than run on the treadmill once a year? Spiders.
Spiders, both real and perceived
When a brown recluse spider was spotted in an airplane, the flight was delayed nearly three hours. The airline described the delay as “mechanical interruption”, which must be a catch-all code used for a variety of problems. So, the next time your plane is late because of “inclement weather”, I think it is safe to assume that the ground crew accidentally filled the fuel tank with ginger ale. Also, when they tell you that “all of the crew is not on board yet”, what is clearly going on is that they have accidentally flown the plane too close to a volcano.
P.S. The spider in this story was identified by a professional arachnologist called from a local university. Just kidding, the pilot identified the spider, which I'm sure he's qualified to do...
In two more banana-related stories, we are meant to 1) fear for our lives from tiny hatchlings of indeterminate species (though the media is sure they are “boner spiders”) that couldn't bite you if they tried, and 2) breathe a sigh of relief that a small, banana-coated spider didn't slaughter an entire family.
Spider vs penis
The last one shares an all too common thread of stories I've seen reported over the years: spiders blamed for physical problems, but without convincing evidence (or sometimes without any evidence at all).
It started last April when an Australian man was reportedly bitten on his penis by a redback spider. On his penis.
Although the article provides a picture of some spider web in the outdoor toilet, there is no way to tell if that web was actually in the bowl. Let's grant that the web was in the toilet: one has to wonder what the man was doing with his penis. There is no way a spider would establish a web somewhere highly disturbed, so he must have been doing something odd. Spiders do not launch out of their retreats except to catch prey, and they are sophisticated enough to distinguish between a fly and, well, what comes from an unzipped fly. The most common way spider bites happen is by accidentally pressing the spider between your skin and something else (e.g., cardboard box, gardening glove, clothing). Perhaps he routinely uses his penis to probe the corners of every outdoor toilet he uses? I say “routinely” because, apparently, the same man was “bitten” on his penis again last week. On his penis.
How does that saying go: Inject venom into my penis once, shame on you. Inject venom into my penis twice, shame on me? The media is predictably poor at doing their jobs here. The redback spider is blamed, but was it ever identified? Like the closely related black widow, redback spiders are often found in and around human structures. Furthermore, an outdoor toilet might attract prey. But these characteristics only push us into the realm of plausibility, not certainty.
Was a spider ever found in either case? The man mentions seeing legs under the rim, but are we left to simply trust him? This is someone who, if we believe both stories, has been dumb enough to get bitten twice in a very short time span. Wouldn't you avoid outdoor toilets FOREVER if this had actually happened to you? Barring that (perhaps extreme) behavior, wouldn't you at least THOROUGHLY check for spiders before using another outdoor toilet? The mind boggles!
What are the odds of two bites occurring on the same spot? I'm not a medical professional and haven't examined the man, but it seems more likely that whatever caused his first issue probably just flared up again, thus explaining why it would be in the same spot. On his penis.
Was this even a spider bite? Spider bites are notoriously over-diagnosed, and most do not leave visible puncture marks because their fangs are quite small. Sure, he was treated with redback antivenom, but the efficacy of the antivenom is disputed and treatment certainly doesn't rule out other causes. Most spider bites are entirely unremarkable and cause only minor swelling and irritation. Read more about medical aspects of spider bites in the article linked below.
Despite my skepticism, published medical reports from 1937, 1942, and 1961 include a preponderance of cases with injuries “predominating on the buttocks and genitalia” do suggest that outdoor toilets may have been a common point of interaction between people and these spiders. I still maintain that there's more than meets the eye here. Could a person be so desperate for media attention to intentionally encourage multiple bites to a sensitive area from a medically relevant species? I often have more faith in spiders than I do in people...