Multiverse — Blog — Michael Sitvarin

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Here we'll explore the raw ferocity of a planet, as envisioned by an aimless movie crew who just can't be bothered to make an effort. The film quickly establishes tension between characters for no reason other than as a sad excuse for character development and back story. I was mildly excited to see John Rhys-Davies, knowing he is no stranger to bad cinema. The fact that I was longing for the comfort of a chupacabra terror loose on a cruise ship says a lot about this movie. Fortunately for John, his character is killed in the first 15 minutes by some kind of budget-animated dinosaur-alien-monster.

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Ok, let's back up. Science has allowed us to see into other dimensions, but not go to them. Seems a little odd, since there's have to be some way to get images and sent them back, right? Anyway, the alternate dimensions look pretty much like ours, but with maybe a differently colored sky. Wow, what creativity. I'm not saying that an alternate dimension has to be wildly different; in fact, I embrace subtlety. In an infinite multiverse, there will be one in which everything is as we know our world to be, but there are marginally fewer left-handed raccoons, and one where all is as it seems except the flavors we know as mint and toast have been swapped. These worlds exist, and I think we are sorely missing out by not exploring them through cinematic creativity.

Anyway, our “heroes” are suddenly (and without explanation) sent to a parallel universe: Dublin, Ireland. They proceed to react (or not) to a variety of situations as if they weren't actually people. Find a bunch of dead dudes? No big deal, just pile them up! Weird creature-thing in your presence? Poke it with a pen until it spurts lethal fluid at someone! Oh, he's dead now? Whatever! Need to see outside? Shoot some holes through the thick concrete wall with a pistol! Find a parking meter impaled through a tree? Steal the quarters out of it! The list goes on, but I won't.

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The ensuing quest for 50 gallons of water, needed to power the cold fusion computer (!) that allows inter-dimensional travel, is more inept and less engaging than quests for a different thing. For those unfamiliar with that film, it is a dialogue-less estimate of pre-human culture, wherein the grunts and moans of filthy, barely-dressed actors conveys a wider range of human emotions than the ham-fisted acting on display here.

Many of the characters who (I guess?) had names, are killed off for a variety of inane reasons while the computer repair efforts coast about intellectual space before landing on ammonia. This compound flows in the monsters' veins (and eggs) and can obviously be used in the place of Freon, since they are in the same “family”. I'm no chemist, but putting these things in the same family is like saying hammers are substitutable with pickles because both take up space and could be used as doorstops.

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The film wraps up so suddenly, they must have simply extinguished the budget. A major character is mercilessly left behind for no good reason while the remaining two teleport back to the normal world. Or do they?!? Actually, we can't tell. And, no, it's not because we are left to wonder how it is that we identify reality while forced to observe the world through a necessarily subjective point of view deeply influenced by the cultural constructs in which we exist while simultaneously constructing. It's because nothing is shown to us and then the credits come flying in. Huzzah!

Inappropriately goofy music throughout ruins any attempt at establishing a mood for the film, so it is impossible to even attempt to contextualize the characters' actions. Also, I think the title is misleading. Since there is only one planet involved, though it occurs in multiple universes. I'd say the filmmakers were commenting on the ferocity fundamental to the ongoing conflict between humans and nature, but that's me being rather generous to people who clearly don't care. Honestly, the worst aspect of this movie is that everyone involved seemed to know they were part of making a bad movie. That's not to say that they didn't take their roles seriously, but that they lacked the depth of conviction that is the hallmark of truly bad movies: earnest attempts to perform despite (or in ignorance/denial of) surrounding, catastrophic failures.